You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude i'm inner monologue high
Say something about gay babies.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
