I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
