Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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