Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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