"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
His hands were made for my vagina.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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