flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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