You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He is an equal opportunity slut.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
