Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize