you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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