I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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