you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wear drunk well.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
