I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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