Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
