I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
