She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
