Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
