i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize