my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
