Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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