for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
