tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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