I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize