I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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