Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
