Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
