i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
