I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
