I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
