How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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