am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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