I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
