i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
