just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
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