it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize