Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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