She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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