i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
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It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't deserve a penis
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
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You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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