Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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