Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
