Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish i was in the wii world.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
