Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
