Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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