She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
