Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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