I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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