You're so nebulous sometimes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
