Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
