Will you blow on my dice?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
