I didn't shave. On purpose
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
