Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
my liver is dry heaving
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize