So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
