He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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