ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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