That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
