his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
