its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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