I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im six kinds of drunk right now
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize